This morning, I set time aside to strategies how to make a name for myself at the intersection of spirituality and engineering. I realized I needed to learn, reflect what I learn in a public space, market myself, build my skill set and capacity, and set up accountability structures. My first step was to identifying commitments to myself, and my process.
I am in the process of reading Mindset: The new Psychology of Success, which examines the importance of a growth mindset, which values effort and ability to change, rather than a fixed mindset, which focuses on set and predetermined ability. In thinking about a growth mindset, I started to identify commitments. Here is a list of my commitments:
- I recognize my potential and passion for being a voice and contributing to discourse at the intersection of engineering and spirituality, and I know that this will take time and effort. I commit to prioritizing my time to take steps and do the learning that is required.
- I commit to the internal work required to process, reflect, and move forward in awareness and love.
- I commit to living my convictions, this includes prioritizing my health and wellness, seeking out a natural rhythm that works for me, making time for my family and friends, and addressing social inequalities.
As I was writing it, there as something that did not seem right. There was a dynamic energy inside me that was determined to start reading topics, writing blog posts, and network. I knew from the past that this energy is often sporadic and overwhelming. I can complete goals on this energy and I did my PhD ridding on this energy. However, I constantly felt lost and overwhelmed . Once I was done with my PhD, I did not want this energy to control my life. I wanted to be grounded in a sense of love and ease.
After writing these commitments and recognizing my energy, I went and meditated for 20 minutes. I lit a candle and decided to practice Metta meditation. Metta has the meditator focus on a phrase of love and kindness as the center object of meditation. The meditator continuously wished herself, or others, love. Metta is known to be a healing and purifying practice. I had recently done a weeklong Metta retreat in December and found it to do wonders in cultivating self-awareness and compassion.
As I sat, I chose the phrase, “May my life unfold with ease.” While I was repeating that phrase, I touched the part of myself that longs for ease, and I got flooded with memories of all the times my life did not have ease. To have your mind remind you of the ways your life is lacking is common in Metta practice. I felt the sorrow for the suffering I went through, touch upon the part of myself that longed for eased and continued to wished myself ease.
There was a moment when a great insight came, when I realized that the effort I was putting forward in the meditation practice was the type of effort I wished to bring forward to my work. This effort is present, loving and in touch with the deeper conviction to live a life free of suffering for all beings. I also realized I was going to write a blog post about this insight. This was going to confirm my insight and share with others… if anyone reads this. Soon, my mind jumped into thinking about this blog post, but I was still meditating. I came back to the moment and wished myself ease again, and thankful for my effort.
A few moments later, I decided to sit in the appreciation of the insight I just gained. So I sat with one had on my heart and another on my stomach, feeling the appreciation of the insight I gained on effort and the comfort in knowing that I would write this blog post.
My mind wondered again, I don’t remember on what, but probably politics.
Then I connected to the part that truly wants myself to live a life full of ease, and I started wishing myself ease again. This time, I included my partner and wished us both ease in our life.
Soon my timer went off, I blew out my candle, and went to the computer and wrote this blog post… after checking Facebook to make sure nothing import happened in the 20 minutes I was meditating.
To conclude, I have now added to my list of commitments that I will put forward an effort that is present, loving and in touch with the deeper conviction to live a life free of suffering for all beings.